It has been an excruciating couple of weeks where I have found myself on my knees at any given time and scouring the internet and the Bible for any hope that I can cling on to. Typically, I internalize my struggles, but this time, I felt so weak that I had no choice but to lean on friends to pick me up off the ground and lend me their shoulders to cry on. I am truly amazed at how they have been there for me.
Throughout my childhood and into my early 20's, I never felt like I had a core group of friends that would be there for me through thick and thin. In fact, my so called friendships were filled with betrayals leaving to me to feel utterly alone and unworthy of true friendship. Today, I find myself surrounded by so much love and support that I am truly humbled. This is a testament to how good God is...that He will never give us more than we can handle and because I have Him and these dear friends in my life, one step at a time, I will be able to move forward. Most of them don't have access to my blog, but even still, I feel compelled to "publicly" declare my gratitude for a few who truly have gone above and beyond to love and support me.
J&D - This couple I met only a year ago and J has been there for me beyond belief. I didn't realize the magnitude of her commitment to me until the day I texted her the news and she immediately cancelled her girls night out with her friends and drove to my house to merely sit and listen. Her hubby D joined us shortly after and together we sat in my backyard talking and laughing until 4AM. They have opened their home to me and Echo when we needed to spend the night and have checked in with me almost every day to make sure I was "okay". I know that though our friendship is young, they will always have a place in my heart.
D - She is a long time friend that I first met through work and has been with me every step of the way. I try not to bug her with my problems because she juggles a full time job and is Mommy to 2 adorable kids, but when she called to say hello, I immediately shared with her my struggle. I told her I needed to get away and without ANY hesitation, she booked a flight to meet me in my city of choice. I now have something to look forward to over the next couple weeks. Seriously, I am so humbled by her kindness and heart. I love her.
K - I first met K back in 2002 during a trip to Hawaii and then lost touch for several years. We recently reconnected and timing couldn't have been better. He has listened to me cry for hours over the phone and repeatedly helps talk me through the process, picking up my broken pieces one at a time. I know his heart truly has my best interest in mind and that he is there to listen to me fumble over the same regrets, the same fears, and the same "what-if" scenarios with endless patience. Gosh, how did I end up so blessed to randomly meet someone who would end up helping me through one of the worst times of my life?
B&H - These two have the busiest schedules with demanding jobs, but B has reached out to me on a regular basis just to check in. That is HUGE for her because she is not the best at keeping in touch, so for her to reach out several times a week...it's amazing! Even when she and H were on their pseudo-honeymoon, she managed to text me to let me know she was still there, even if her responses were not as quick. H has offered me insight and hope and has given me tangible advice to help me take one step forward, a day at a time. What comfort it gives me to know that I can rely on them to offer me sound and practical advice.
S - This girl...she's really in the thick of it with me. Like the others, she checks in with me on a regular basis and always offers to meet me wherever I am so that I am never alone. I think she was the first person I called when the crap hit the fan and she listened to me cry for hours without judgement. I love her because she loves me so much that it actually emotionally frustrates her to see me going through this. Those are the best friends...the ones who get angry with you and cry alongside with you.
G - My amazing brother. He isn't one to get emotional nor is he very good with comforting words, but his actions speak so loudly. I know that I can rely on him during this period and that means the world to me. I love him.
Last and certainly not least...God. The mere fact that God has surrounded me with such an amazing support group says it all. He may not be physically visible, but I know that He is here with me through my amazing friends and family. I am learning what it means to truly rely on Him and to let go and allow Him to fight my battles for me. I know that He can make all things new and can resurrect what is already dead, if it is in His will. He knows the desires of my heart. I don't have to do anything as my only "job" is to trust in Him, to seek Him and to rely on him 100%. How comforting is that?
Throughout my childhood and into my early 20's, I never felt like I had a core group of friends that would be there for me through thick and thin. In fact, my so called friendships were filled with betrayals leaving to me to feel utterly alone and unworthy of true friendship. Today, I find myself surrounded by so much love and support that I am truly humbled. This is a testament to how good God is...that He will never give us more than we can handle and because I have Him and these dear friends in my life, one step at a time, I will be able to move forward. Most of them don't have access to my blog, but even still, I feel compelled to "publicly" declare my gratitude for a few who truly have gone above and beyond to love and support me.
J&D - This couple I met only a year ago and J has been there for me beyond belief. I didn't realize the magnitude of her commitment to me until the day I texted her the news and she immediately cancelled her girls night out with her friends and drove to my house to merely sit and listen. Her hubby D joined us shortly after and together we sat in my backyard talking and laughing until 4AM. They have opened their home to me and Echo when we needed to spend the night and have checked in with me almost every day to make sure I was "okay". I know that though our friendship is young, they will always have a place in my heart.
D - She is a long time friend that I first met through work and has been with me every step of the way. I try not to bug her with my problems because she juggles a full time job and is Mommy to 2 adorable kids, but when she called to say hello, I immediately shared with her my struggle. I told her I needed to get away and without ANY hesitation, she booked a flight to meet me in my city of choice. I now have something to look forward to over the next couple weeks. Seriously, I am so humbled by her kindness and heart. I love her.
K - I first met K back in 2002 during a trip to Hawaii and then lost touch for several years. We recently reconnected and timing couldn't have been better. He has listened to me cry for hours over the phone and repeatedly helps talk me through the process, picking up my broken pieces one at a time. I know his heart truly has my best interest in mind and that he is there to listen to me fumble over the same regrets, the same fears, and the same "what-if" scenarios with endless patience. Gosh, how did I end up so blessed to randomly meet someone who would end up helping me through one of the worst times of my life?
B&H - These two have the busiest schedules with demanding jobs, but B has reached out to me on a regular basis just to check in. That is HUGE for her because she is not the best at keeping in touch, so for her to reach out several times a week...it's amazing! Even when she and H were on their pseudo-honeymoon, she managed to text me to let me know she was still there, even if her responses were not as quick. H has offered me insight and hope and has given me tangible advice to help me take one step forward, a day at a time. What comfort it gives me to know that I can rely on them to offer me sound and practical advice.
S - This girl...she's really in the thick of it with me. Like the others, she checks in with me on a regular basis and always offers to meet me wherever I am so that I am never alone. I think she was the first person I called when the crap hit the fan and she listened to me cry for hours without judgement. I love her because she loves me so much that it actually emotionally frustrates her to see me going through this. Those are the best friends...the ones who get angry with you and cry alongside with you.
G - My amazing brother. He isn't one to get emotional nor is he very good with comforting words, but his actions speak so loudly. I know that I can rely on him during this period and that means the world to me. I love him.
Last and certainly not least...God. The mere fact that God has surrounded me with such an amazing support group says it all. He may not be physically visible, but I know that He is here with me through my amazing friends and family. I am learning what it means to truly rely on Him and to let go and allow Him to fight my battles for me. I know that He can make all things new and can resurrect what is already dead, if it is in His will. He knows the desires of my heart. I don't have to do anything as my only "job" is to trust in Him, to seek Him and to rely on him 100%. How comforting is that?
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