Photo courtesy of D
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
I was listening to a message the other day about friendships and the speaker repeatedly alluded to the idea that the best way to get to know someone is through their friends. I have been meditating on the following: If someone were to judge me, strictly based on my inner circle of friends without ever meeting me, would the outcome be worse, the same, or better, than if they were to make the decision based on their interaction with me?
It is a resounding BETTER. I could send any of my closest friends to an interview on my behalf and they would have a better chance of landing the job for me than I would. I would drop my children off to any of these girls and know that they would come home even "better" than they were when I dropped them off. I get breaks in life purely based on my associations with them that I could never get on my own because of who they are. I am so blessed to have people in my life that challenge me to be better than I am. People who push me to never settle for second best, but to always strive for more. Every single person I consciously choose to let into my inner circle are people whom I admire.
On the contrary, I know people who allow their friends to pick up the keys after a long day/night of drinking. People who give their friends a hard time when they can't make an event or stay the entire time because they have other priorities in their lives. People who don't have your best interest in mind and would screw you over financially while their finances are completely in order. And, pretty much the only opportunities they offer you in life are opportunities to drink and party. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and decisions, but if someone is to call themselves a friend, he/she is also responsible for the well being of someone they supposedly care about.
I have to admit, it hasn't always been easy. I've gone through many friendships through junior high, high school, college, and even now. I have had my fair share of friends whom I partied with, accumulated a lot of history with, shared good times and bad times with, etc... but shortly after college, I realized that I had a choice. I could choose who I let into my inner circle and that like it or not, the person I would ultimately become would be shaped by the people I surrounded myself with. Some people go through life wondering why they don't grow or are stuck in a rut. My advice to them would be to look at the people around you. Are they where you'd want to be? As you get older, life gets busier and time becomes more valuable. I had to be smart about where I was spending my time and with whom. Did I respect the way they lived their lives and did they respect the way I lived mine? It wasn't about who was right or who was wrong, but about how I wanted to live my life. One of my closest friends said to me once, as she saw me head down a downwards spiral, that the person I was becoming was no longer someone she could relate to. That hit me like a ton of bricks because she was someone whom I respected and admired, and as far as good friends go, birds of a feather, flock together. If she could no longer relate to me, what did that say about who I was becoming? I have her to thank for getting me back on track!
I am not a spring chicken anymore and as I get older, friends will come and go and may even be few and far in between. I pray that I will continue to have the wisdom to maintain the friendships that continually enrich both ways and the wisdom to walk away from those that don't.
