There is something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for a few months now that I have not really shared with anyone, but I feel compelled to put it in writing tonight. So, here goes...
I have always heard from others that their wedding day was one of the best days of their lives, that everything was perfect and exactly how they dreamed it would be. Unlike many girls, I actually didn't have an idea of what my dream wedding would look like. All I knew was that I wanted my wedding to be unique to my husband and I and be a stress free celebration surrounded by those who loved the both of us. I feel so much guilt confessing this, but truth be told, I am holding onto a lot of disappointments from that day.
I wish that I could have had the tea ceremony to celebrate my parents and grandmothers, that we could have personalized our wedding with the musical performance that I have always dreamed of, that my now father in law did not announce his grandson's birthday during his speech, that the corner table did not get so drunk and roudy, that a last minute guest did not pick up his phone and proceed to have a conversation during our ceremony, ah the list goes on. For 3 months now, I have been torturing myself with what could have been.
But then, as I look through the pictures my friends took of the day, there is one thing that stands out. Even in the background, without knowing that they would be captured in the photos, my friends and family were all smiling and celebrating us! I was so clouded by my disappointments that I failed to see that I was surrounded by love; by people who were genuinely happy for us, and that is what truly matters to me at the end of the day.
There is one particular photo that fills me with joy. My cousin sent this panoramic photo to me. It was when I made my first appearance toward the altar coming down the stairs with my Dad.
As I scanned the photo, I noticed one person in particular who was beaming with joy...
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I finally resonate with the old saying "A picture is worth a thousand words". I am truly blessed.
I have always heard from others that their wedding day was one of the best days of their lives, that everything was perfect and exactly how they dreamed it would be. Unlike many girls, I actually didn't have an idea of what my dream wedding would look like. All I knew was that I wanted my wedding to be unique to my husband and I and be a stress free celebration surrounded by those who loved the both of us. I feel so much guilt confessing this, but truth be told, I am holding onto a lot of disappointments from that day.
I wish that I could have had the tea ceremony to celebrate my parents and grandmothers, that we could have personalized our wedding with the musical performance that I have always dreamed of, that my now father in law did not announce his grandson's birthday during his speech, that the corner table did not get so drunk and roudy, that a last minute guest did not pick up his phone and proceed to have a conversation during our ceremony, ah the list goes on. For 3 months now, I have been torturing myself with what could have been.
But then, as I look through the pictures my friends took of the day, there is one thing that stands out. Even in the background, without knowing that they would be captured in the photos, my friends and family were all smiling and celebrating us! I was so clouded by my disappointments that I failed to see that I was surrounded by love; by people who were genuinely happy for us, and that is what truly matters to me at the end of the day.
There is one particular photo that fills me with joy. My cousin sent this panoramic photo to me. It was when I made my first appearance toward the altar coming down the stairs with my Dad.
As I scanned the photo, I noticed one person in particular who was beaming with joy...
My Mom...
I finally resonate with the old saying "A picture is worth a thousand words". I am truly blessed.
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