My Buddy & Me

I am hideous in this picture but I thought it was too hilarious not to share.  Don't judge, you know you sleep with your mouth open too.  ;) 

My Mother's Daughter

My Mom is a superwoman.  Not only did/does she work 6 days a week (7 during the holidays), she never failed to put dinner on the table every night and manage our homework while we were growing up.  On Sundays, she would be a chore machine, cleaning the house from top to bottom, grocery shop, then cook and clean in the evening.  My Dad on the otherhand would turn on the TV once he got home where he would remain the rest of the evening and on Sundays, aside from dim sum, would be consuming every sports game broadcasted.  I never understood how my Mom had the energy to work nonstop, I mean, even when all I did was lounge around on a Saturday, I was still "too tired" to help her with chores on Sundays.

Now that I have been living on my own for a while and have a puppy to look after, I find myself falling into the same pattern as my Mom's.  My commute home can be anywhere between 1-1.5 hours, and while I could be falling asleep on my drive, I will muster up the energy to prepare a meal right after I get home.  After dinner, I will either do laundry or clean.  On the weekends, I am spending quality time with Echo, cleaning, running errands, and grocery shopping.  It is like I am on autopilot, probably what my Mom has been on for many years now.

I admire my Mom for all that she has generously given without resentment or bitterness.  Perhaps tradition has a lot to do with it, but today, I don't think women are as accommodating.  With women becoming more and more independent, how do you stop certain thoughts from creeping into your mind? 

"Your job is not more important than mine, I make sacricifices to get home early to put dinner on the table at a decent hour."

"Just because I am running around all day doing chores and running errands doesn't meant that I enjoy doing it and wouldn't rather spend the day on the couch."

I think my Mom would have liked help from my Dad or from one of us, but she never really asked.  I think she was willing to sacrifice her time and energy so that we could kick back and enjoy ourselves more.  Also, what would be the point of asking if it took one of our lazy butts x hours to finally get around to something when she could take care of it right away?  It is so easy to take advantage of kindness.  I can say that I want her to relax more, but without action on my part, those words are meaningless. 

I see myself heading down the same path as my Mom, the primary caretaker of the household while holding down a full time job with a crappy commute.  I am my mother's daughter, so it's ingrained in me to go on autopilot and get stuff done and to take care of those around me.  I am not really a procrastinator.  So everytime I feel like complaining or feel envious of my friends who hardly have to lift a finger in their household, I will think of my Mom and remember that however much I am giving up, she gave up 10x more and let that be my motivation to carry on.

Update On Echo

It turns out that Echo fell on his growth plate and shifted it slightly, so his healing process is taking a while longer.  The veterinarian put a bandage on his leg for additional support for 2 weeks which he was able to remove this week.  For whatever reason, the bandage was glued onto his leg and when they removed it, they removed a layer of his skin with it.  Echo was so brave throughout the whole process, even when he had to wear the cone of shame to prevent him from licking his wounds.

I also noticed that he had been sneezing and sniffling a whole lot and his nose was super wet.  I was holding him one night and he started to reverse sneeze.  If you have never seen a dog reverse sneeze before, it really is a very scary experience, but is fairly harmless.  Sure enough, the vet diagnosed him with a cold.  His lymphnodes and tonsils were swollen.  Now, he is on anti-inflammatory medication, pain relievers, and antibiotics.  Poor little guy. 

Being a pet owner takes a lot of patience and heart.  I have been getting into work late and leaving early just so I can take him out for his potty break and have been working from home whenever I can to spend more time with him outside of his crate.  Ideally, if I get into work late, I can leave a little later, or if I get in earlier, I leave earlier, but that isn't doable in my storybook.  I think that those who have deeply experienced the love and joy a dog brings into their lives share my sentiments on how special and deserving these little furballs really are.  Dogs are never "just dogs".



He looked so sad meandering around the house with this on his head and would stare at me pawing at his cone as though he was trying to say "Free me!" that I quickly gave in and removed it the next day.



I love my little guy, so so much!  He is such a good dog.  Not a day goes by do I ever take this little blessing for granted. 



Puppy Parent Woes

I typically like to keep it light and simple in my entries, but for this particular subject matter, there isn't really a channel I can comfortably speak my mind in, so I turn to the one thing that always seems to help - writing.  This entry is more therapeutical than it is an update.

On Tuesday morning, I heard Echo squeal from upstairs and ran down to see what had happened.  When I called him over, he limped over with his hindleg lifted.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing and in that moment, I completely broke down.  I sat down in front of him, held him, and just sobbed uncontrollably.  Would he sense my sadness and see it as weakness?  Am I overreacting?  I didn't care.  He is my baby and my heart was broken.  A million thoughts rushed through my mind: he is too young to not be able to run around and enjoy his puppyhood, how long is this going to take to heal, and worse of all, it is my job to protect him and provide him with the best life possible, and I failed...miserably.

The veterinarian examined him, but Echo was so tense and fearful that he could not tell whether his leg was badly bruised or if he had torn his ligament.  So, he prescribed medication to help with the swelling and pain.  I had to step out of the room because Echo was yelping so much that I couldn't bear to listen.  Is this what it is like to see your child in pain?  I would imagine so, except with a child it'd be 100x worse. 

How Echo was injured is moot, so I am not going to explain.  But, aside from the constant worrying and hopefulness that it is not a torn ligament, the most challenging thing for me has been coping.  I try not to fall into the blame game, to try and stay optimistic, but every single time I see the little guy limp, my heart drops.  I am so angry - angry that this happened, angry that this could probably have been avoided, angry that he is in pain, angry over the additional costs this injury has/may incur - just angry!  I don't feel like I can release any of this anger in a healthy way without impacting someone else, so I continue to hold it in and pretend that I am okay with it.  Sooner or later though, I will erupt, and erupt I did.  This morning, just like there are small earthquakes before a volcano erupts, I lashed out, a magnitude of 3.0 I would say.  Though a small relief, I caught myself and stopped because I didn't want to intentionally worsen the situation.  But when I got into my car, everything came out.  Yelling, crying - you name it.  Deep sigh...

I held my little guy's head this morning and said a little prayer for him before I left for work.  Hopefully he will show signs of healing soon and return to the little rambunctious rascal I have grown to love so much.

This was taken on Sunday.  He loves to get himself twisted up like a pretzel.

Camping @ Pt. Mugu

This weekend, we drove up PCH to Pt. Mugu in Malibu for a quick getaway camping trip.  I had no idea this little gem was right in our backyard and so easily accessible!  We had so much fun taking Echo to the beach for the first time, playing Taboo and bonding around the campfire with good friends, and sleeping in the wilderness. 

Echo is excited to go on his first camping trip!

Echo's first time at the beach

My dirty little rascal

First time in sand and digging his way to China!

Echo was shivering because it was so cold!

We topped off the weekend with some pool time at my parents' place.  Echo's going to love the water - he just doesn't know it yet!