Since we don't know when Echo's actual birthday is, a friend of mine suggested the idea of celebrating his gotcha day instead - the day that we brought him into our lives. To celebrate, I got him some gourmet treats and a brand new toy which, in true Echo style, managed to destroy within the first half hour.
Enough with the poses, lemme open my treat box already!
My Mommy loves me very much
Heeey, that's my cupcake!
It has been such a quick year and it has truly been a blessing to watch Echo grow into his own. It seems like only yesterday when I had him on my lap on the drive home with his little head on me while looking up at me with those big brown eyes completely unaware of his new life with us. Stopping by a pet store picking out his first leash and collar and some toys. He now knows 20+ tricks, is fully potty trained (unless at someone else's house), is independent, and is just the sweetest dog. I wish that I could freeze time so that he could stay this age forever - he is growing up too quickly! Echo has taught me patience, forgiveness, and what it means to love unconditionally. I will continue to cherish every precious moment with my little guy!
We had a little visitor for 5 days this past week. While his Mommy and Daddy were up north getting hitched, this little Yorkie spent quality time with his new buddy, Echo.
Yesterday, in the midst of Grey's Anatomy killing some time before heading to my parents house for dinner, then to the airport for my upcoming business trip, I sewed a button back on a pair of shorts. An hour later, I saw Echo trying to pick something up off the ground with his mouth. I went closer, and saw that it was half a needle! If you are a regular follower, you'd remember that Echo had swallowed 1.5 sewing needles last October. I immediately said "sh*t!" and thought, not again!! I immediately searched for the other half, but couldn't find it. Then, I took out the set of needles and counted. There were 8 slots, so 2 in each slot - 16 total. I counted only 15. I looked at J...asking him what we should do. "You're sure there should be 16 needles", he said. "Yes, that would make sense. There are 8 slots, 2 for each which equals 16." We had to make a decision. We could continue to search for the needle, but risk the other half traveling further down his throat if he did swallow it, or we could take him to the ER immediately for a peace of mind. We decided to drive the 33 miles to the ER.
When we got there, Echo was shaking furiously, barking at anyone who walked through the doors and hiding under the bench where we sat in the exam room. I guess he remembered his previous visit which wasn't very pleasant. The whole process took 2.5 hours mostly spent waiting while playing Candy Crush. We had to wait for someone to come in to get our information, then to take his vitals, then to get estimates on how much it would cost, then to take x-rays, then finally to give us the diagnosis. I eventually pushed my flight out to the next morning because I wasn't going to make it. They took 5 x-rays - no needle. Though relieved, we thought, "Now we have to turn the place upside down to find the other half for a peace of mind." We paid the $411 bill and left - ouch. When we got home, J pulled out the flashlights and we began our search retracing Echo's steps. After about 20 mins, the only thing we found was how much dust collects in areas where I don't sweep as much and earthworms and bugs crawling in the mud. Disgusting. Deflated, I looked at the half needle that I found again and wondered...could this be the SAME half needle that I kept from the last time and it had fallen out of the sewing box when I pulled it out of the drawer? I pulled out the set of needles again and dumped them all out carefully on a piece of tissue. 1, 2, 3, 4.....15. One is STILL missing...OR, was there supposed to only be 15 needles? I immediately jumped online and searched for the packet that I had purchased. Singer 15 Count Self Threading Hand Needles. Fifteen. FIFTEEN! I had one of those surreal moments where everything that has just happened flashes quickly through your mind. The initial panic, driving to the vet, Echo nervous, waiting and waiting, paying for the exam, searching with flashlights...Why didn't I confirm that there were 15 needles vs. assuming? Well, 8 slots for 2 needles in each slot - doesn't that make sense?! A huge amount of guilt swept over me as I relived what I put my precious baby through over the past 2.5 hours. Another level of guilt consumed me further as I realized how much time and money I had wasted. Just look at his face. I am a horrible doggie Mommy.
I caught up on this week's episode last night and was blown away by the original song at the end sung by Jennifer Hudson. One of the story lines is about Jimmy Collins, a troubled young man who works at a pub with his best friend and stays after hours to write and play music as his release. One day, he meets Karen, an up and coming Broadway actress who overhears his music and convinces him to share his music and a big time Director to listen to his music. Overwhelmed with putting on a show for Jennifer Hudson's character, the Director asks him to write a song, then dismisses him without even listening to it. The song lands in the hands of the Director's colleague, a writer/composer who tells him he has made a mistake, hands him the song, and says that "this kid" is the real deal.
Jimmy Collins (right) and his best friend surprised to hear his song performed by Jennifer Hudson's character
I connected with this song, tremendously. The lyrics were so powerful and the emotion that Jennifer Hudson put in her performance gave me goosebumps. Listening to the song from Jimmy's perspective moved me because I could feel all of the emotions that haunt him. He cannot express himself through words or emotions, but through song, he conveys what conversations cannot.
I thank God all the time for blessing me with just enough depth and life experiences to be able to appreciate music on a deeper level. A song is not just a song. So much is conveyed through a song if you really listen to it. "I Can't Let Go" is the title of the song and just spoken as words, it is very as a matter of fact: I can't let go of my insecurities. I can't let go of my past relationship. But if you add music behind it, you feel how great the struggle is for the writer to let go of whatever he/she is holding on to and all the heartache he/she has been through. You feel.
There have been moments in my past where I have found myself down, but could not explain why I felt that way. I tried to journal, only getting more frustrated that I couldn't formulate sentences that made sense. But behind a keyboard, everything would make sense. Some of the greatest songs in history have come through heartache and despair. This one is no exception.
I can usually predict the next note or where the melody is headed because most melodies are, well predictable. This song had moments that took me by surprise, especially with the chord progression going into the second verse. And of course, it added that much more meaning behind the song.
I bolded the lyrics where the words touched my heart and italicized where the song continued to build through the melody. Love.
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They say nothing lasts forever Well, I wish that that were true Cause this aching in my heart won't go away They say everything must change They say that time will see it through Well, I've listened and I've waited for that day But I wake up with this anger And the pain won't let me be And the smile I share Is only there for show If I hang on to this heartache Then my soul will not be free So I keep trying But I just cannot let go
I can't let go Oh I need it to remind me I can't let go Oh, I just repeat the past And though your arms are saying yes I feel my heart keep saying no I want to love you But I can't let go
I had to live through bad beginnings And I've seen unhappy ends So I close the book Before the story starts I'm just a witness to my lifetime And I'm a stranger to my friends I'm a traffic cop (?) A broken, damaged heart
Now you ask me to start over But it's easier said than done And the memories are strong when they arise And when heartache comes a'callin' I won't even try to run Cause its songs that makes me know that I'm alive
I can't let go Oh I need it to remind me I can't let go Oh, I just repeat the past And though your arms are saying yes I feel my heart keep saying no I want to love you But I can't let go
